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your sidewalks are so soft
they feel like used mattresses
even the most shmeagoly of your
Let’s try not to mention food while fasting
is a like metaphor for like peace
I once plucked a pigeon but that was before Jonathan Safran Foer turned me vegetarian See comment above
Yehuda Amichai wrote poems about your pigeons much better than I can
Today is a day for mournful, non-fauna-related poems only
The other mourning I wandered your walls
with a lantern and a digital camera
and through the light and the lens
and the tourists pouring into the █████
I could see ████
through a crack in your ancient war wall.
I think it’s weird how men often refer to you
like you are a █████
You are not a █████
you are a city
Do you agree that █████ shouldn’t
be referred to like they are cities
to walk on and █████ ██
and take by force and Thereby Unify
Does the word ██████ make you uncomfortable?
I want to grow an army of kids inside of your █████ and ████
I will send them to a
where they will learn both █████
and █████ Hebrew.
This morning the
guard patriot didn’t let me in
to visit your Western Wall
because I was wearing a shirt that said
“We are all ██ ██████”
What is ██ ██████ he asked
And I told him it means:
We are all rabbits.
But so and despite my insistence that we were all
lettuce actually, you’re good on this one, we don’t really
count it as “food unless it once had legs and a mother heh heh
he did not let us pass
have need a permit to build there?
On your ███████ front it was quiet and
some men saw my shirt and said great!
May God grant you prosperity.
Come and ███ with us (again: fasting here)
But we said no thank you, because often ███████s do not
upon heh heh enough leafy greens for our taste.
What about the ███████s?
There will be a demonstration today at four o’clock
It will begin at the █████ gate (For directions: www.police.gov.il)
and will end in disappointment
Maybe I should grow a mustache
I left my yarmulkeh and phylacteries
in Willamsburg laced in the rhythm
of Mr. ███████’s kaddish.
What would Maimonedes think
about the CityPass ExtraSmooth Light Rail?
Would you fine Our Fine Sages of Blessed Memory 180 shekels if they could not work the ticket machine?
(Passage removed for unnecessary snarky sacreligiosity)
I’m Sorry (apology accepted, tentatively). That wasn’t fair.
I just want██ █ ████
that ████ █████ ███ me squarely in the consensus.
When will you stop learning and get a job?
When will you put on the
a uniform like everyone else?
When will you stand at a ████████?
When will succumb to your █████?
When will you expectorate
spit us out?
Jerusalem, maybe if you stop
eating for seventy five days then maybe they wil
let us out of █████ ███████
and tell you what you’re doing here.
My writing hand has lost it’s cunning Which is mostly OK because I am a Lefty
(Passage removed for unnecessary snarky sacreligiosity
& possible allusion to banned political orientation)
We made the
New York Times Antisemitic Dishrag’s headlines
You are probably bored of poems
You could use an intro to █████ Theory.
I am hungry Let’s have a barbecue Jesus you don’t learn
Let’s have pig
eon Not Kosher: Not Tempting
Pray for me
The irony is always lost on you
You don’t really want to go to ███ do you?
Put a note in your wall for
Me and for █████ and for ██ ██████
And for yourself
pray with for us
(For original version viewing strongly dissuaded please go to this link).